Finding the Right One
by deadlykitty
Summary: Love has failed her with Tamahome, but could it be possible with Tasuki? Does she even want to try again? TxM
1. Chapter 1

"It wasn't me who left. It was you. You're on your own now, Tamahome. Go to her. Yui needs you more than I do." the look he gave me as I turned from him should have broken my heart, but strangely I no longer cared if I hurt him. Yes, I had loved him, but it was in the past now.

Even as he whispered my name in defeat I didn't turn back to face him. Instead I just kept walking out of the life of the one man I had truly loved. It would be awkward should he come with us on our trip to Bei Jia, but I'll live. I hope.

Hey everybody! I finally have an FY fic up! I hope you'll enjoy it, this chapter is mostly a prologue. As the story gets going it should get a little more interesting, but for now I wanted to introduce the main problems that our beloved characters will have to face. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Fushigi Yugi, and if I did, Tamahome wouldn't have fallen for Miaka, and she'd have gotten with Tasuki such along time ago!

Hotohori was waiting for me in my room when I returned. With him stood Tasuki, who still seemed ready to kill because of everything that happened in Qu Dong. True, our wounds have healed but my mental anguish hadn't, or so he believed. It was obvious I'd struck a chord in him when first we met, and since then he seemed to grow quite fond of me. Hotohori had never stopped loving me, yet I'd turned him down. If I could help it I wouldn't fall in love with anyone else in this world and when Suzaku was summoned I'd return to my own world without regret.

"You have accomplished your mission?" the emperor asked solemnly. I nodded, but didn't speak. It killed me to know I'd hurt him so badly, yet still he worried about me. In a small way, yes, I did love him, but not in the right way.

A fist pounded on my wall as the fiery headed bandit shook in frustration. "After all we went through to bring the jerk back, you still don't end up with him. All our work and efforts were wasted!"

"No, not all. If we hadn't gone through all that we did, I never would have seen the way in which he looked at Yui. It was such a calm look that he reserved for his family. Yes, he said he loved me, but he couldn't look at me like that. It was when I saw him stare at Yui like that that I realized I couldn't see him in that light either." even though I didn't feel depressed about everything at all, a tear was tugging at the corners of my eyes.

Tasuki was the first to notice. He pulled me roughly into his arms as he held me tightly to his body. "Arggh, damnit. Women are so much trouble! Quit acting like it don't faze you. If ya gotta cry, cry, and I'll hold you until you feel better, al'right?" slowly I raised my arms to grasp at his, still fighting the tears back. It went unnoticed when Hotohori left the room.

The bandit didn't complain when I started sobbing uncontrollably into his jacket, nor did he push me away until my crying had subsided into soft whimpers. Gently he bonked me on the head. "There. Now don't ya feel a lot better? Just come to me when you're feelin' like crap, and I'll cheer ya up." without another word he left the room, too, and it was only then that I noticed the missing emperor.

_'He must have been hurt by me holding Tasuki... oh Hotohori, I'm so sorry... I don't mean to hurt you like this, but I keep doing so...'_

- - - - -

Hotohori stood leaning against his door, eyes downcast. He'd known this was going to happen. Half of the priestesses warriors had fallen in love with her, and her eyes were always being caught by only two of them, one of which had just been deemed doomed. Tamahome and her would never get together again, but there was a chance she'd fall for Tasuki. Just looking at the bandit holding her so tightly to his own body sent a wave of depression over the young emperor. Miaka would never love him, but she might the bandit. Oh, how he hoped that she would, and that she would find her true happiness.

- - - - -

_'What was I doing?' _Tasuki thought to himself._ 'I basically just told her, come to me, I love you. What was I doin' that for? She still loves Tama-boy... an' she won't go for some run-out bandit. Damn...'_

It seemed to him that he would never be happy. He was in love with the priestess since she had gotten struck with the plague on their first journey together. It hadn't occurred to him then how much he'd worried over the girl until he'd seen her pain over Tamahome's changed feelings. He'd sworn on that day to try to ease her suffering, even if he believed it to be impossible himself. How would he ever be able to get a girl's love, especially one who knows he detests women, anyway?

- - - - -

Another man stood speechless in his room, thinking about how horribly he'd screwed up. Miaka just dumped him, and he couldn't blame her in the least, because it was his fault. It was true his heart had started to ache for his girl friend's best friend, but he had hoped to cool his emotions upon returning to Miaka's embrace, so that he could stay with her. Yet, she had no interest in that, at all, as her cool demeanor had indicated.

_'Maybe it would be best to go to Yui... she loves me, too, and it might end the war between their friendship. I'm sorry, Miaka, but I will do as you said, and go to Yui. I loved you, I still love you, but maybe in the end its for the best if we go our separate ways...'_

Not much of a cliffie, I know, but the next chapter should make the story interesting. So I can get it out of the way now, I must remind old readers and new ones of my stories that I require five reviews for an update. I got tired of several hundred people reading my stories and only having one or two tell me what they think. I don't care if you praise or criticize, or even if you flame me! I just ask if you have to flame, that you tell me what you don't like about my story. I can't boast on having never had a flame any more, but out of over 200 reviews I had only received a total of two, one of those slightly justified. Since then it has worked out quite nicely. So please tell me what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

Tamahome had been gone for a week now, and I barely even let it register. We had spoken once through the wall with Chichiri's help since his departure, and I even talked to Yui for a moment. It was agreed that Tamahome would come back when it was time for the ceremony, but not before. Nakago would have to be left in the dark for that, as Yui understood. She was still angry at me, but with Tamahome there he was slowly trying to reassure her that I had never meant to hurt her.

The only thing that was really different was that Tasuki kept a bit of distance between himself and me nearly the whole week. It was as if everything that he had said before no longer mattered. It's just as well. I'm trying not to fall in love with him, anyway, though it is already proving difficult. Darn these teenage hormones! They make me stare at everything male, particuarally him!

I haven't even seen Hotohori recently... and it worries me. I know he is busy with his councilors and planning for the war, but still... he used to make a point to say 'hi' to me at least once during the day. My warriors are all just leaving me alone.

A maid of the castle approached me. "My lady, your bath is ready."

Nodding, I allowed her to lead me to the small pond like bathing area, where she and a few others helped me to remove my clothing, and led me to the water's surface. The sun had heated the water up a bit, but not enough for comfort's sake. Gritting my teeth I went to the small drop off I knew led to the deep water and jumped in, allowing my body to get hit with the full force of the chilling temperature. When I broke the surface again I screamed.

"It's c-c-c-cold!" shivering I rubbed up and down my arms feverishly in an attempt to warm them even slightly. When that failed, I hurriedly finished my bath and exited the water. Unfortunately I chose the side opposite the maids and ended up needing to walk around. First thing that happened was I smacked into something.

"M-Miaka..." I heard the astonished sound of Tasuki's smooth voice stuttering over my name. My cheeks flamed, and my hands tried to cover as much of my skin as possible.

Tasuki averted his eyes, a definite blush on his face. His body stayed facing me, and despite my nudity I couldn't help staring at him a bit. As awkward as it was, we just stood there, before we came to our senses, and I turned around.

"Wh-what are you doing here, Tasuki? This is my bath, you're not supposed to be here..."

"I heard something scream, and came ta chexk it out. I had no idea you were takin' a bath." I looked at him over my shoulder. He really did look like he mght have been there ready to defend me, with his harrisen out and everything, but the way he didn't turn from me told me he had known for a couple of minutes what was really happening.

A small smile played upon my lips, though I knew he couldn't see it. "Liar."

I walked off, without another word, and left him to stare at my retreating figure. Oddly enough, in the week since Tamahome left, and despite what I had told myself then, I just didn't care anymore about much at all. If Tasuki wanted to fall for me, then let him. It didn't mean I would have to fall in love with him back.

As the maids clothed me in a sheer garment I snuck another look to where Tasuki had been, but he was gone.

The way Miaka has been lately is unnerving. It's like she no longer cares for anything, and anyone. Her demeanor is cool, as if nothing can faze her anymore, yet I know that cannot be the case. Through a window I happened upon a glance if her in her bath, yet it was not her body that caught my attention. It was the fact that she stood so close to Tasuki, and it didn't faze her as once it would have that he had caught her naked. Before she would have slapped him for his lechery, but now as she walks away from him, the hands that had been hiding her form from him drop. She shows no interest in anything.

Only once does she turn to look back at him, but he's already gone. The Priestess of Suzaku just shakes it off and leaves with the maids.

What has happened to Miaka? What has happened to the bright spirited girl I fell in love with? Her shell remains, but her spirit has been locked away inside. The change in her has been so unnerving to myself that it has made it too awkward for me to say the simplest of greetings. Tasuki is the only one who can bring Miaka back, of that much I am sure, but unless he can bring himself to go after her, I fear that Miaka shall be lost forever...

Damn it all ta Hell! What's wrong with the girl? She caught me peepin' and almost didn't even bat a lash! Whatever happened to the good old days when that would mean a swift slap to the cheek? Did Tamahome really affect her so much? I've been avoidin' her too much. I'm bringin' Miaka back, if it's the last thing I do.

"Yui, are you all right?" Tamahome asked, walking close to the girl.

She just shook her head and smiled. "I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"Because you don't look like it. You look as though you're going to break something. Again."

Yui just shook her head again, and pulled Tamahome's hand into her own. "I'm perfectly fine. You worry too much."

He nodded, squeezing her hand slightly. "I do especially when we're to speak to Miaka. It's like you don't even care about her anymore. What has happened to you to make you like this?"

"You know exactly what has made me like this. It isn't fair that she got to be so happy with you when I had to suffer through... that." Her eyes had narrowed dangerously, showing her disgust at the the memory.

"I've told you already how much Miaka blames herself for tha-"

"As well she should!" Yui interrupted, stopping abruptly.

Tamahome lowered his eyes just slightly as well. "Like I was saying, she blames herself enough as it is. So when will you give up the pretense of forgiving her?"

His words stopped the girl, but only for a moment. She released his hand and turned away from him. "When she stops looking so miserable when we talk through the wall. It's like she wants you back after finally letting me have you."

Tamahome said nothing, instead he wrapped his arms around the girl from behind, and just held her there while he tried to hope she'd one day understand.

Ok, this story is really starting to get on my nerves, honestly. It's just not going the way I hoped it would. I'm going to try and fix it, but if it doesn't get any better, I'll probably just write a quick ending for it, and after a week of having the ending up delete the whole thing. I'm sorry if anyone actually liked this fic, but I'll decide soon whether to keep it or kill it. Thank you.


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